CHEATING in a relationship, Pt. 2

One thing I have to put out there is that cheating is not for everyone.  You have to know whether or not you are willing to mentally be with someone other than your partner.  Cheating is a hurtful process and I believe that if you really care for a person you should really try to work things out or just leave them, because I've left an ex partner for the same reason, he was unwilling to show me that he cared for my emotions, my pleasure, etc.  I say emotions because there are times when you don't want to cheat because of anything sexual but because your partner is not emotionally being their for you.  In my opinion, it is not worth it from there and is what I like to call a "dead end" relationship.  You can't force someone to show you the emotional aspect that you need, all you can do is tell them what they are lacking, hope that they will do something about it and wait it out until you see it's not worth it anymore.

"I'm strongly against it.  No one deserves to be cheated on... It hurts.." -Mr. Taylor


My mouth dropped when my friend Taylor said this to me, because I've known Taylor for a while now and he never seemed to come off the type to be against it... I'm glad that there are some men out there who won't "physically" cheat.  Like I always say, men are cut with the same scissors, but not all made from the same cloth.

I was talking to my dear friend Dallas from L.A. and this is what he had to say about it-

"Cheating is whack, but in 2009 monogamy is dead in the hearts of the masses.  No one understands the foundation that's supposed to be set within a relationship.... I know more married men that cheat than I know business men... but I do believe in faithful relationships". - Dallas

I love Dallas. he's always realistic and I agree 100% with what he's saying.  That's why I believe it's either your committed or your not, that goes for both people in the relationship.  If your partner is not willing to work things out, their not committed, YET if your partner is not willing to fix the problem, they aren't either.  Now this isn't a battle between 2 wrongs make a right, but you really have to ask yourself, how much do you really like or love this person, and are you willing to be committed, meaning understanding, realizing that being in a relationship also means compromising for the needs and wants of your partner, etc.  I do believe in faithful relationships because I've been there.  I've seen both sides.  Cheating, I know it's a lot of work, I know it hurts, all of that- BUT I also know that its comforting when you have someone else who's willing to do what your partner wont, whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally.

Another way at looking at it is how my friend Supreme put it-

" You can be in an average relationship with a person and you get bored but then someone you know starts giving signs that they are a better match..." - Supreme

True.  The only thing about this is that I would never leave my partner because I am bored of him.  I find that to be pretty dumb.  That's why communication is key.  Talk about it and the reason for the stimulation to be fading away because leaving someone you have dedicated time to for someone who is just there and is showing you a good time at that moment is more than likely to only be there for that moment.  Sometimes it can be your fault that your bored, because I get bored very easily and I tell my boyfriend he always has to keep me on my feet, don't let me get bored because that's when I start my wandering, but that's just how I've always been.  Will I leave him for someone else who's caught my interest at that moment? Never.  But I would if I felt that it wasn't working out and the interest for him fading would play a role in it.  You can never or should allow for your partner to loose interest in you, that's something you need to take care of.

I wanted to get a girls point of view so I asked my friend Kitty and one of my best girl friends Michelle what their thoughts were on the situation.

"I disapprove of it, but yet I do it.  I feel that different people have different things to offer.  You'll never find a perfect individual... So just enjoy the different aspects of them all. It hurts to the person your committed to but sometimes you have to be selfish". -Kitty

Sadly, that's exactly how I used to think, that's when my commitment phobia was at full blast, as some of you may know I'm still working on my commitment issues, but trust i have come a long way from how I used to be.  You just need someone with a good foundation on being committed to you and it'll help a lot.  My ex, Fah taught me a lot about commitment and it helped me stay committed to him... yes like some of my girls would say, for a bit too long, but I was committed.  Now Michelle had a different approach- leave it to my girl Michelle to be the one to bring everything together LOL.  I love this girl.  She didn't agree with cheating, yet I don't believe she was against it either.  Like I said, it depends on the person.  

I don't approve of cheating if you don't have a reason too.  I don't believe in selfishness anymore when it comes to relationships, because if that's the case don't be in one.  Like I always say, to each their own, but you should never just jump into something like this because you do have to remember about the feelings of your partner and what it'll do for you in the long run as well.  I don't feel that people should cheat because their partner is absent from their lives for a while because it just simply means they weren't that important that you couldn't wait.  People should not cheat because everyone else is doing it, or to get even with their partner for doing it to them- because at the end you will be the one looking like the fool.

"The moment you cheat for the sake of beauty, you have cheated yourself out of something good for something that appears better". -Butta Love, the provocatve verbalist

I hope this was interesting for you all as much as it was for me.  Til next time.

-Butta Love, the provocative verbalist