Mirror, Mirror in My Hand

So this is the edited and completed version of "changing me to perfect"::

I felt dizzy when I finally woke up.  It seemed like I ha been sleeping forever.  There was nothing occupying the space I was in but myself.  The recovery room was completely white and I felt I was in a psychiatric ward.
“Liz…wake up.”
I kept feeling like nothing, as if death had swallowed me whole.  My heart felt empty, beating in my chest sounding like the echo of a hollow tree.  My vision was still blurry and I could almost see fog rolling in and out of my vision
“Liz, baby- wake up.”  Who the hell is that?
My entire body was numb and I felt as though I had no face.  I finally remembered that I just had surgery.  I didn’t feel any pain, though.  I couldn’t remember what I had surgery for until I heard his voice, again…
“Oh baby, you were out for so long.”
“David?”
I remembered everything now.  My eyesight improved as the numbness started to wear off, and then I realized where my surgery was.  The pain wasn’t unbearable but once I put my hands on my face I felt the heavy bandage wrapped around my entire head.  As David smiled, he handed me a mirror.
“You should be the first to see yourself.”
A pain rushed throughout my entire body.  It was like a horror movie, starring myself.  I felt alone and ugly without knowing what was underneath the mask.  He wanted my eyes to be bigger, my lips fuller and my nose straighter…and that’s what I got.  He wanted high cheekbones and wanted my eyelids to no longer sag.
I remembered that this change was supposed to be for the better.  It came out for the worse as I unwrapped the bandages.  I needed to change it all- because I know he would love me more this way.  He explained that the marks on my face would soon disappear and that it was all part of the recovering process.  I turned to look at my husband,
“Do you love me now?”
“I will love you more this way.”

"Mirror Mirror, In My Hand"

I felt dizzy when I finally woke up from what seemed like a sleep that had lasted forever.  There was nothing occupying the space I was in but myself.  I saw a white table next to me with silver things that looked like utensils- very sharp looking utensils.

“Liz… wake up.”

I kept feeling like ‘nothing’ as if death had swallowed me whole.  Emptiness was the way that my heart felt when it beat in my chest, only to hear the sound of a hollow tree.  My vision was still a bit blurry and I could almost see fog coming in and out of my vision.  I didn’t even feel my heart beating.

“Liz, baby- wake up.”  Who the hell is that? and who is Liz?

I was numb from the surgery.  I finally remembered that I just had surgery  There was no pain felt. I didn’t quite remember what I had surgery for until I heard his voice again…

“Oh baby, you were out for so long.”

“David.”

I remembered everything now.  No more fogged up eyesight as the numbness that I felt started to wear off and I then realized where my surgery was.  The pain wasn’t unbearable but once David handed me a mirror pain rushed throughout my entire body.  It was like being in a horror movie with yourself as the main character.  I felt alone… ugly.

I wanted my eyes to be bigger, my lips fuller, my nose straighter and that’s what I got.  Then lets not forget that I wanted high cheekbones and didn’t want my eye lids to sag either.

I remembered that this change was supposed to be for the better, yet, it came out for the worse.  I needed to change it all-because I know he would love me more this way.  My husband told me, he would love me more this way.

Changing Me to Perfect

I felt dizzy when I finally woke up from what seemed like a sleep that had lasted forever.

I kept feeling like ‘nothing’;

like a ‘nothing’ who didn’t want to become a something because the ‘nothing’ had swallowed me whole. 

Emptiness was the way that my heart felt when it beat in my chest, only to hear the sound of a hollow tree—

nothing but emptiness, no blood or veins-

no muscles or tissue running through my body.

I was numb from the surgery. 

            No pain felt, but much pain was seen when I was given a mirror.

The horror; so ugly was what I was.

            I wanted my eyes to be bigger, my lips fuller, my nose straighter…

and lets not forget that I wanted high cheekbones and didn’t want my eye lids to sag.

The change is for the better, I needed to change it all-because I know he would love me more this way.  My husband told me, he would love me more this way.

-Butta Love, the provocative verbalist