I felt dizzy when I finally woke up from what seemed like a sleep that had lasted forever.
I kept feeling like ‘nothing’;
like a ‘nothing’ who didn’t want to become a something because the ‘nothing’ had swallowed me whole.
Emptiness was the way that my heart felt when it beat in my chest, only to hear the sound of a hollow tree—
nothing but emptiness, no blood or veins-
no muscles or tissue running through my body.
I was numb from the surgery.
No pain felt, but much pain was seen when I was given a mirror.
The horror; so ugly was what I was.
I wanted my eyes to be bigger, my lips fuller, my nose straighter…
and lets not forget that I wanted high cheekbones and didn’t want my eye lids to sag.
The change is for the better, I needed to change it all-because I know he would love me more this way. My husband told me, he would love me more this way.
-Butta Love, the provocative verbalist
