::random thought::

i love the idea of love, i love its imagery but sometimes i have to stop and wonder if its worth all of the pain that i go through when im on its path....i hate crying over people..i hate crying over someone i cant have, not knowing whether if that person is worth it or not...i think the most painful part is waiting on someones answer.  every single time i talk to him its like we end up right back to square one...and every time he tells me "i like you, im just not ready for a relationship" i cant help but think about what my friend Beatrice told me "when he says he doesnt want to get into a relationship, it simply means not with you because he'll compromise that if he really likes you"...so who do i believe?  sometimes i want to be done with it all and then there goes those moments when he makes me laugh and i cant stay mad at him=weakness, when he bites his lip because he knows i like it=more weakness...he's become a weakness that i want to hate so bad but i cant...these thoughts just made me loose breath...night everyone