To my child that I have not yet given birth to, I love you. You are my unborn so I know not if you are to be my son or my daughter. I will be there on the day of your baptism as the priest, on your forehead, pours the holy water. I will be there to teach you wrong from right because every child needs a mother, that's the most important part of their life. You're in my womb and I'm the only one that can know you in and out, the only one that carries you. You are a part of me because when I'm sad your sad, and when I'm happy, you are too. I can't thank God enough for giving me you. I can imagine how strong you would be, having your own mind, I can picture me pushing you forward when you've fallen behind. I know that we'll create a bond that no one can put asunder, but when will that be?
I've just lost my son, or my daughter. I've lost you way before you came, I lost you when I found out about you that very day and I lost you when I knew I couldn't keep you anyway. I'm sorry my love, but please understand, everything happened so fast and you were unplanned. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think about you, and the thought still lingers- ' I know not if you were to be my son or my daughter'.
My arms are empty, and my heart- heavy. I wish I could've had you, that you were right here, hearing your crying, your laughing in my ear. And even though it's only been a few days that you haven't been here, I know as the years come- so will many more tears. It hurts when I realized I ignored you, I didn't hear your voice when you asked me, "Mami, don't you have another choice"? But I felt you a burden and what happened could not be undone.
I've lost my son, or my daughter. I've lost you way before you came, I lost you when I found out about you that very day and I lost you when I knew I couldn't keep you anyway. I'm sorry my love, but please understand, everything happened so fast and you were unplanned. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, and the thought still lingers- 'I know not if you were to be my son, or my daughter.'
-Butta Love, the provocative verbalist
