Monday, February 1, 2010

Apologies in the Dark

Courtesy of Danz from Flickr

::dedication to Karlon Low::

I think you have forgotten me and everything I am

And for once in my life,

I’m stuck with no words—

So I’m going to say what comes to mind when I think of you now…

You felt punched in your mind because you thought I didn’t comprehend,

My oatmeal cookie-

Look at me—


I didn’t mean it

I didn’t mean to tear your heart out from under your feet,

The soul from your hands.

I didn’t mean to put your heart on a cinder block

waiting for the executioner to divinely split it into thousands of pieces,

and now my mind wont function and my heart beat decreases

I was selfish

and now—

I am here-

Screaming out loud-

And claiming my crime.

I don’t know what else to say

I don’t know what else more to do

And every where I look---there’s the spitting image of you

Time’s pushed you away from me

And has led me 2 think you will no longer view me the same—

My voice is the shattered glass on your kitchen floor.

Will you ever touch me or kiss me again?

My breaths are no longer meaningful and if it’s possible for tears to overflow, I’ve done it

I just want it to go back to the magnolia cookies and the sweet hot chocolates that tasted like you to come back into our lives-

You made me unicorn sandwiches when I thought they didn’t exist

All the laughs, jokes, happiness is what re-entered our lives-yet I’m convinced you don’t want to see them anymore…

You make me suffer for what the last did, but still-

I don’t want you to become the reflection of perfection that I once had

Because in reality, I still want that perfection that comes from your heart because it was the only thing pure that flowed perfectly with mine.

And I wish I could be that smile that once led you to paradise

And you my flashlight that kept me from being afraid of the dark

I’ve told you my deepest darkest secret, a gift from me to you

Take risks to have a chance—

And I promise I will only ask for one.

I want you to--

read me that bedtime story that you said you would

I still want a chance to make you fall in love with me

Because I know I can-

Don’t leave me in the dark

Forgiveness is one of the most virtuous actions in our lives

And I just want back our romantic nights—

Only if you breathe and let me become one with you, once more-

That’s all I ask—

Is once more.

-Butta Love, the provocative verbalist